Communication Skills

Cell phones, I seldom use them, smart phones, I have little use for them either. Our ability to communicate with others verbally has greatly diminished. More times than I would like to admit, I have entered stores, restaurants, and virtually everywhere else, and witnessed what I can only describe as zombies on smart phones, their eyes fixated on their phones busy searching, texting, or playing games. Their eyes hypnotized by a magical screen, broken only by an occasional glance up from their “land of awes”, into the land of reality. Addicted and enticed, this contraption goes everywhere they go, and God forbid they should forget it, instantly turning into the walking dead. It is their preferred mode of communication and entertainment, and to their own detriment.

I admit I am “old” school, and I am proud of it. I came from an era when people spoke words to each other in complete sentences, and to look into ones eyes was a demonstration of respect. Communication is more important than ever these days, and with new technology, there is a propensity for good and bad. Other modes of communication in the social media such as Facebook, Twitter, etc. have its own dangers. I am afraid to say our youth and an increasing amount of adults are losing their communication skills at an alarming rate. What used to be called “family time” is spent quietly texting. The family is the ultimate loser and the victor is “self.”

Nothing replaces an in-person communication, not texting, smiley faces, hearts and alike, they are not a substitute for a good face-to-face dialogue. I understand our friends and loved ones may be miles apart, but when you have an opportunity, speak words not text. The words we communicate can be very powerful, and a failure to do so can sometimes turn deadly. In the late 70’s, I read a heart-breaking story in the news that illustrates my point dramatically.

The story I recall, takes place at a home where several friends received an invitation for dinner. The family had a beautiful little four-year-old daughter we will call Annie. They all gathered around the dinner table and had a wonderful prepared dinner with all the bells and whistles and fixings. After the finishing their meal, the table was cleared and the group of guests began conversing in conversation on a number of adult topics. There was humor and outbreaks of laughter as the evening went on. Annie was fidgety as you might expect and dismissed early from the table. She had no siblings, and no guests brought their children so she felt alone and forgotten. Annie, being a very determined little girl, went around the table one by one in a valiant effort to get a little attention. She was a sweet little girl with flowing long blond hair with bright blue eyes yearning to be visible in a house full of adults.

Unfortunately, the guests responded with polite smiles, uncomfortable looks, to downright scorn. When Annie reached her father, who was in deep conversation, dismissed her by retorting, “Go away!”
Little Annie, with resolute, went around the table once again, this time with her hands up, a gesture to be picked up. Her distraction was annoying her mother, by the look on her face, as she passed by each one of her guests, but her pleas were ignored once again, until she reached her father yet again. This time he raised his voice, “I told you to leave us alone!” The guests felt a little uneasy and embarrassed, but they did and said nothing. Annie discouraged, left the room promptly, and the conversation continued as if nothing had happened.

Thirty minutes later Annie was discovered floating face down in the family pool. Her lifeless body pulled from the pool and given CPR. Paramedics arrived promptly but pronounced Annie dead at the scene. The parents and guests were distraught with shock and disbelief. When the police officers arrived, they questioned the parents and the guests. When questioned about the pool, her parents admitted they had rescued her two times before this incident.

My friends, the first time Annie, who could not swim, accidentally fell into the pool, and fortunately, her parents heard her cries and rescued her. She quickly realized she got immediate attention she was yearning for when she fell into the pool. She tried it again successfully the next time. You see the first time she fell, the last two she jumped! Please understand, I believe these parents loved their child immensely; it is not about their lack of love, I believe they loved her dearly. It was their lack of communication! Communication is a by-product of love.

The most beneficial words of communication are affirmation. Our greatest asset is our children, love on them in season and out, whether it is inconvenient or not. “I love you, “You are important,” and “I am proud of you” are all good affirmations. Life is short, our clock is ticking, do not let time run out before you communicate to those how much you love them face-to-face when possible!
“I love you” are very powerful words, the first words we hear when we are born, and should be the last we utter before we die! When that time finally arrives, I doubt we will be asking for our cell phones. Die with memories, not dreams…

~Danny